Are Your Children Overscheduled and Overwhelmed?

School-year schedules are well underway, and seem to become increasingly hectic as the holidays approach. From sporting events to dance and music classes to tutoring sessions and parties, parents today seem to be on a mission to give their children advantages, which, in some cases, become a disadvantage because it is too much. And for families with working parents and more than one child, getting everyone where they need to be is often a daily challenge. 

 

Surprisingly, with such busy schedules, parents aren’t the only ones who tend to be overwhelmed.  According to Michelle Trenton, MS, LPC, LMFT, therapist with Samaritan Counseling Center, “Children can have the feeling of being pressured or stressed to perform when they have too many activities on their plate.” 

 

Over the past decade, the number of activities available to kids has skyrocketed.  “Parents believe that the more involved their child is, the more opportunity he/she will have to develop life-learned skills and talents,” says Trenton.  “These talents and skills can eventually help a child get into college or find a job that is worthwhile.  Unfortunately, along with these skills comes the pressure to achieve more and be competitive.  What is supposed to be a fun and enjoying activity can cause a child to lose sleep or change eating patterns.”

 

In some cases, many kids – particularly those in high school – do most of the over-scheduling on their own.  As requirements for attending college increase, many high school students enroll themselves in Advanced Placement classes and take part in numerous community service projects to add to their list of qualifications on college applications.  “Add this to regular school work and other extracurricular activities like clubs and sports, teens today have very little free time left for anything else,” Trenton says, “While extracurricular activities are great for developing structure and time management into a child’s life, moderation is the key.” 

 

She says overscheduling can lead to numerous unhealthy consequences for children.  For most, the signs of a stressed or over-scheduled child are similar to those of an overstressed adult: 

  • Extreme anxiety or panic attacks
  • Feeling of being constantly pressured or hurried
  • Irritability
  • Falling grades
  • Moodiness
  • Diminished interest in other activities
  • Physical symptoms such as stomach problems or headaches
  • Problems sleeping
  • Sadness or depression

“The only answer to this over-scheduling is to find a balance that incorporates what is best for your child with those activities they are most interested in,” says Trenton.  “By setting priorities and developing a realistic schedule, your child will be faced with less stress and have more time to enjoy their activities.  Encourage other balances such as time set aside for family and for quiet relaxation.  Continue to keep your children involved but be aware for further signs of  burnout.  You may feel that it is too late to drop out of anything this year, but keep in mind the lessons learned for the beginning of next year and say no.  By helping your child learn to manage their time now, you’ll be providing them with a solid foundation for life balance as they get older and face more time-management challenges.  They will thank you in the end.”


Samaritan Counseling Center provides counseling services on a sliding scale fee.  For more information call 433-4357 or visit www.samaritanswla.org.



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